Can't be a responsible human being

I'm tired. My chest hurts. I'm doing work last minute. I don't like to do what I need to do. I keep procrastinating and dreaming of a different life. It's the same cycle. I can't lose hope but I'm tired and disappointed. Please pray for me. I hate letting people down, especially my boss because they're nice. But I just can't work on something that I don't give a damn about deep down. I know I need to suck it up and I am trying. I hate myself. I'm trying. I'm trying.