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I am 30, my boyfriend is 26.
In the starting 3 years back, he was really, I mean really very caring and careful towards my wellbeing. But initially I was a little insecure because his ex girlfriend used to work at the very same place and that created a very tough time for us.
I agree that initially, like for 4 months, I was a little immature in dealing with the situation which somehow deeply affected my boyfriend.
It's been 2.5 years that I try to ammend the loss that happened to us during that time but it seems my BF doesn't acknowledge.
The same caring person is now insensitive while talking, disregarding and indifferent to me it feels.
I know he is very busy these days and tells me that he loves me, but I feel that I have lost the initial bond that we shared.
I have not been comfortable with the way he talks to me since a long time and even after telling him it doesn't change anything.
I now feel so little and desperate in this relationship that there are no moments of joy between us.
He is alright while chatting but when we talk on phone, he has this tone (not all the time but 70% of the time) which makes me feel as if he is talking to his subordinate or that he has no emotional space for me, his argument is more important than the fact that he is being insensitive while talking.
I have told him so many times but he doesn't change and I can't spend my life chatting instead of talking just to not get hurt.
I don't really like him that much, but I love him.
Please help me understand what he might be thinking about us and the future.
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I have no idea as to what he might be thinking about anything. You two can try relationship counseling where he might open up to the counselor and he could be shown how to talk to you in a more caring way. How about you talk to him the same way he talks to you to show him what it is like.
ReplyHe lives far away, so talking to a councellor will not be fruitful at this time.
And yes, I have talked to him the way he talks to me to make him realise that it's hurtful, but he seems to enjoy the argument.
ReplyI would definitely leave if he doesn't tell you what's going on. you're wasting your time
ReplyHe says that there is nothing going on. He says that lets focus on ourselves for now.
Replyprobably a red flag. you're wasting your time tbh.
ReplyI assume he says that we should focus on ourselves because he is younger to me and not in a state of mind to get married.
I seriously feel drowing in utter dilemma.
Replyit's your life, you can end anything at any time for any reason if you want to. don't feel obligated to stay with someone just cause you've put a lot of effort in or etc. but if you do decide to stay, good luck and hope it works out!
ReplyHmm
Reply