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No matter what we've been through, you've always been you. One of the nicest people I know, even though I really should hate you because you do not like you, I can not find a way, to hate someone I love. All I want is to see you happy around the clock, that's all I want. Really. But the thought of someone else making you happy and not me is crushing me. For how can anyone love you more than I? I know I can seem off at school and angry, but you know I'm not mad at you, I can not be mad at you. Something I could never have been. You if anyone knows that I do not open up to people easily, or at all. But I think I knew something. That you, just you, would understand me in some way no one else would. That you would be there no matter what happens, or what is said. I know you care deep down, but do not dare to show to people. You're the most caring person I know, you care about people you should not even care about. That's one of the reasons why you are you, why I like you. I just do not understand how you can not love me as much as I love you. I did not think it was human to feel this way for a person you never even tried anything with? How can I even know that what I feel for you is genuine? That it's not just fake? I understand you, I feel too much sometimes and I guess this went awry. No matter what happens in the future, I will never let go of you, whether I want it or not. I do not think it is possible. When you told me a long time ago that you wanted to try with me but it would not work because I had Hisham. But what you did not know was that I still loved you, I still cared SO much for you that I almost broke. Not even I knew about it. There was nothing between me and Hisham anymore. I could not do it against him or against myself, love someone else who was not you. It felt wrong, as if I was unfaithful to someone I had never even had a relationship with. It sounds sick, I know it myself. But I just want you to know deep down that I love you. Forever. Whether or not I show it.
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