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i dont really know what to say except i feel like i am always putting others before me. That's how it has always been. However, recently I found someone that I've been starting to like and they really like me... so it was working out perfectly except for the fact that one of my friends HATE him. Because of this, i felt obligated to stop talking to him. She kept hinting at things saying "I hate how everyone seems to really get along with him even though he hates me" I don't know much about what he did to her, and I actually heard he doesn't truly hate her, but I still felt so bad. I felt like she was basically saying that I was clearly one of those people and that I had to stop talking to him... I just feel super bad about it because I finally feel happy and loved. But knowing me, I'd throw it all away for a friend who doesn't even hangout with me outside of school. I just don't want my friends to be upset with me, that's the worst feeling. But once again, I just want to be happy. My entire life I have been doing whatever makes other people happiest. Whether its my parents or closest friends. I am just so sick of caring so much about others to the point where I dont care at all about myself. I have never put myself first and i dont think I ever will and that is what hurts the most. I can't seem to build up enough care for myself... I just have had such a horrible day with my friend going back and forth about if I should stop talking to him or not. I enjoy his company and he makes me feel happy... He treats me like I have purpose in this world and like I actually matter. I just don't know where else to find that... I am just so conflicted right now.
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Friends come and go. Do not ever, I repeat and entreat your, do not ever give up happiness for a cheap friendship. Worthy people will not make you chose between them. I’d go with the guy who makes you happy over such a frivolous and shallow type of friendship. Not everyone gets along with each other but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stop being friends with them.
Replythank you so much for your comment ! this really helped :)
ReplyYeah I think you should stick with the guy that makes you feel happy and valuable because those are important things. Don't stick around someone who's judgemental and doesn't treat you right. You deserve better. You deserve to be liked and feel like you are important to others. So don't throw away your own happiness for someone who isn't that nice. Also, prioritise yourself coz it's better to be happy than trying to make everyone else happy when they aren't treating you nicely themselves. I hope you and that guy end up together!
Replythank you so much for your comment ! hthis really helped :))
ReplyHave you considered trying to get all three of you together, to see if there is some other option? Could it simply be a misunderstanding? I ask because I know from experience, that misunderstandings can really destroy something magical. Sitting both of them down together and expressing to both of them, at the same time, that you do not want to have to choose between them, may help mend whatever differences they have, or maybe you'll find out something from one or the other, that will help yo make whatever choice you have to make. Communication is key, between friends and loves both.
Replythank you so much for your comment ! i actually did do something similar to this, and now we are all doing pretty well and on the same page :)
ReplyGlad it is working out at the moment!
ReplyI have asked myself that very same question - 'when is it my turn to be happy ?'
I've spent my whole life seeing about other people's needs. I've sacrificed my happiness for their.
I think if you have someone that makes you happy, you shouldn't give that up.
Replythank you so much for your comment :) i really appreciate it and im sorry to hear you are going through something similar. I hope things get better for you as they have for me ! I am currently dating the guy I was talking about in this post :)))
ReplyThanks...but things have gotten worse for me, and I am pretty sure my issue has gone on a bit longer than yours, with very little hope of ever resolving our issue. I fell in love with her when she was 16, and I was 18. I saw in her, the person that would, simply by being by my side, make me a better person. Life tossed us a curve...I was going to be away...like half a continent away, for a very long period. I didn't want her to miss out on things like homecoming and prom, so I was trynig to force her to say that she would go to those things with someone else, if I wasn't available. I never wanted her to resent being with me, because I wanted her to be my forever. That has never changed. She thought I was breaking up with her, and never once allowed me to explain...I've grieved that relationship every day since...and it will be 44 years next month! Now, she has blocked me on all social media...I think I make her husband nervous, because I still love her. Of course that love means giving her what she wants...even if that is to be with him, no matter how much that hurts.
Replywow.. im so sorry to hear your story and a lot of time has passed since then. I wish you nothing but the best in the future ! You'll find your special someone and live a great life with them :) i respect your maturity and patience in this situation
ReplyThank you. It will be her 60th birthday in a few days. I still cry about no longer having her in my life, even if only minimally...every damned day.
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