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My love.
I'm sitting here thinking of you, some time has passed and my anger has gone but so are you.
We're were never a perfect couple, there's no such thing but we got each other, atleast we did until things got so messed up and things did get really messed up, somewhere along the way we started to take each other for granted, we stopped talking to each other.
There used to be a time when I thought I could get through anything as long as I had you in my corner but now, going through the experience of you not being in my life anymore, is unbearable and the one person I want to reach out to to help me through is the person I can't reach out to because it's you.
Every day I wake up and think of you and miss you and every night I lay there, willing sleep to come and miss you more. I want to go back to that day, the day I decided I couldn't handle being in a relationship with you anymore because it was too difficult, I want to go back and tell myself to just try one more time, try that little bit harder.
I've discussed this with loved ones and they all say the same thing, that the way you treated me was cruel and that I deserve better, that they didn't like what being with you did to me and I don't think their opinions are without merit but they don't have the memories of when it was good, they don't know that even though how you treated me broke me, I would rather be unhappy with you and working on making it better than unhappy without you and never seeing you again. There will be people who think that's wrong of me, that if a relationship is unhealthy and unhappy it's better to walk away and that's what I did, thinking it was right, it was for the best but it doesn't feel right, I feel like I've made the biggest mistake of my life and I just want you to hold me again, I just want to hear your voice, get one of your silly texts, cuddle up to you and fall asleep with my head on your lap.
I just want you, even if it's wrong, even if it's bad for me.
I love you x
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