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A close loved one of mine is dying, and quickly.The illness came upon suddenly with no symptoms it was there until terminal stages.I have no way of helping them, hardly anyone can do anything but watch. I hate that.I’ve watched everyday as their body and mind declines. They aren’t happy and are hardly talking anymore. I hear people around me talking and crying, so why does it seem I’m not. Of course I’m sad, and there’s been many times I’ve almost cried. But I feel like I should.. feel more? It makes me sound emotionless but I’m not.It doesn’t feel as the world is crashing around me, as it actually is and should. As a child I would literally start sobbing at the thought of this person dying. I want to feel it now.I’m just so afraid that I’m going to be like this until it’s to late, and then it will come crashing down on me. I won’t be able to help the other ones I love, who I’m afraid can’t handle this.
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