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Yeah well I guess you should just give it up then dad. He came back from the Dr angry. I could hear his edgy hateful tone of voice before he even came in the house , because they refused to write him the drug he's addicted to.
Imo he don't really need it anyway. He can't control it even with mom trying to monitor them to him he becomes a raging drunk cries no remembrance of fighting with us cussing us hoping the world will blow up. But without them on very little today his blood pressure is 180 over something. Really bad. And mom and I are caught right in the middle of it all. If wasn't for us he'd probably have another stroke.
He dont know the hell and bad memories he causes and puts us through justby abusing a combination of 2 mainly 1 pills to get drunk. And HE REFUSES to listen to the recordings I have of him being an a hole cussing for no reason. Gosh he's horrible when he gets like that and I have no way or where to go to escape it. Even from my room I can hear it all if not that it's kathump pow of him either falling or stomping as he walks going everywhere. He doesn't do that near sober but he's just as miserable lately such as today he's so edgy I can't stand his awful tone of voice. There's a number he could call and go 150 miles to an inpatient treatment facility but he won't call. He'd rather rinse repeat it every month. Nothing is worth the amount of hell misery and abuse he put me through this month.
So yeah. It's ok. Sure. It's fine. It's great lovely peachyππππππ. My mental mental and emotional health don't matter right? I don't need peace right?
In about 5 days he'll just run to his dealer start the cycle all over again waste another $400. It's why he don't need them in the first place. If I could go somewhere else I would but even my family won't have me for a single night because they're so petty and dislike me without a cause. But it don't stop my aunt from calling here going Wahh wahh wahh wahh wahh about her problems to dad. She's super pushy to get her way with things and if it's not to her liking it's wahh π. Put us in the middle of her problems but gave the πto me when I tried to tell her the hell and abuse I go through. Now peoples ignoring her (about moving) and she can't stand it. Well what do you expect? Treat people with respect if you want respect. I'm not without compassion and mercy but she treated me like garbage for no reason.
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