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Ugly thoughts.. ugly feelings.. ugly being.. Such vile things, swallowing me hole and twisting me into a horrific sight. One could faint just looking at me. My head is a pit of filth, it's a mess in there, full of poisons. So many terrible things.. so many.. i can't help but loathe myself, I hate myself, i cannot stand to be myself anymore. I cannot live with myself. The hatred burns, it makes my skin crawl, i want to tear myself apart and throw myself away. I cannot handle it at all. I hate who i've become, looking back, i've been headed here for a while, but never would I have thought i'd become this bad. I can't do anything about it, i've tried, really. It can't be stopped, i can't control myself. I cannot get help. I am a wicked thing. Those whom I love, you, I could not look you in the eye if we were standing face to face. I cannot look at who I love knowing the terrible things i've thought about them. Uncontrollable things. I feel so disgusting. I wish it would all stop. I wish I was better. I wish I could fix myself.
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