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Ok I’m just going to write what I’m feeling because I have no one else to tell. Or no one I feel like I can tell anyway.
Right now I’m feeling overwhelmed, resentful, sad, stressed and angry.
I don’t know why I’m feeling all those things but the culmination of everything is almost making me feel numb. Or I want to feel numb anyway. I also want to scream- just go into a field somewhere in the middle of the night and scream and shout at the universe even though I know all these feelings are my own fault and no outside powers’.
I’m supposed to be going away in just over a month, for a 6 week backpack across Europe. I’m going with my ‘best friend’ - who, I’m feeling very angry towards right now. Trying to plan anything, with her, it like pushing a Boulder uphill. I try to get stuff done, make decisions, book trains and flights and hostels and she does nothing. The trip is so soon and I’m trying to just do it myself, but I just feel so overwhelmed and like it’s never going to happen at all.
She’s not excited, she’s admitted it to me herself. She doesn’t really want to help me do anything. Today I planned and she hung out with her friends. so yea I’m angry right now, angry at her and angry at myself for being angry at her. I’m sad because… well I don’t know why. I just am. I don’t know. I know there’s other things effecting my mood as well but I just have so many feelings right now and no where to put them.
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Your writing seems to be very spacey related which I love, because I'm like that too. But I'm sorry to say I'm bad at relationships, I just lost them all. You don't find anyone talking or even mentioning the universe, everyone is so down to earth and not in a good way really, in an ignorant way. I met my best friend sharing chips. Life went downhill, all the bitter inside. Regarding your friend, I cannot solve anything from here since you're the one living it. And regarding your feelings, life's a waterfall, a literal rollercoaster, we may sink sometimes but we always get back up again. Good luck.
ReplyThank you, and I hope your situation improves too .
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