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this has little to do with driving but driving is the only activity that actually brings me total unhappiness and manages to bring up all the unhappiness that I feel. I wish to not feel this way but I hate doing it. I hate the way it makes me feel. I have the way my sister treats me while I am driving. Her expectations are too much and I can't meet them which makes me feel like a failure. She always blames me for everything that goes wrong and criticizes me when I make little mistakes. It's not fair. Why do I have to be the problem, why can't she realize that she also has to take some of the blame for the way things turn out. I wish to never drive again. I wish to just be able to forget how-to and move on from this. I wish she would just relax a little and let me figure it out on my own, but that would never happen because she is just a perfectionist and doesn't understand that some people have a hard time doing something that comes naturally to her. I just want a level of understanding from my family about how much I dislike the activity of driving. No matter how much I explain my feelings they all just think that I am being dramatic. They don't realize I have never had a good experience while learning how to drive. My dad yelled at me, my sister shouted and demanded me to be better, and my mom having to faith in my abilities. I guess this is what this all boils down to, nobody thinks I can do it and I guess they might be right. It just hurts and makes me sad and tired. I want to live the rest of my life without ever having to drive someone else around. No one in my family at least. I wish I knew how to change my outlook on driving but currently, all I want to do is never do it again so that I never have to feel the deep dread that comes with it.
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