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dear dad
i feel heartbroken about the birthday letter you sent me. when you signed the card "maybe one day we can take a shot together" and wished me a safe 21st, i sobbed immediately in my car. i wish i was seeing you for my 21st and sharing some of my first mixed drinks with you but i know that it will never happen. we've moved past the teenage years where you emotionally destroyed me and i've had to grow up and learn to move on. a part of me wishes i could have had the father/daughter relationship so many of my friends have but i won't. your 10 years too late and we won't ever share a drink together. i feel guilty and hurt but i have to remind myself that you were the cause of so many bad things. i would rather drink alone than spend it with someone who refused to love me for me and genuinely care for me like a father should.
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