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I think i have either ignored it or been in shock since everything happened. I thought you were my best friend but i continue to be disappointed by you. We have been through so much together, why do you have to say the things you say or do the actions you do? I love you with all my heart, I really do, but you love me in a different way than I love you. I guess that's the problem. If you would even consider it love, or do you just want my body?
It has bothered you for almost five fucking years now that i have yet to let you do anything sexual with me. You have never taken no as an answer, you always beg, plead, continue to ask me out. I have rejected, said no, explained myself multiple times. You always say "Give me a chance please" or "Maybe we can try a one night thing and forget about it all". You are supposed to be my best friend, not my fuck buddy. I do not like you that way and I have apologized numerous times. You even make me feel bad for not liking you or not letting you fuck me. I don't know what you want me to do.
The night i spent the night at your house, i had absolutely no idea your intentions were sexual, i thought we were just friends having a sleepover but I guess a male and a female aren't suppose to have a normal hang out? At least that's what I have experienced every time i have a male best friend. Each time I try to hang out with any of you, you touch me, make me uncomfortable, or even do more. I have had a total of 5 male best friends, and each have fallen for me, made me uncomfortable or broke me. But you, i thought you were different, you knew some of my traumas, you knew about my male friend histories. You swore you weren't like them. You lied. After I left the next day from our sleepover, my friend had told me what you told your friend; "I think i messed things up dude, i don't think i'll be able to fuck her before i leave for the army." I was so utterly shocked, i had no idea we were hanging out for that reason this whole time. It hurt. And then you call me shit faced drunk one night and you begged me to fuck you, or date you. Then i had suggested to hang out without anything sexual and you had the audacity to say "no, that's boring." My heart completely shattered when you said this. I know people suggest whatever people say when they're drunk isn't true but there is also a saying that goes "drunk words are sober thoughts." I genuinely believe your words were sober thoughts. You have been my best friend since Freshman year of high school and apparently it was all to get with me?? Then your best friend and I become best friends and he does the same thing, but ruins my life in the process. I love you and you'll always have a special place in my heart but I need to let you go. I know you won't understand why because i haven't told you how bad your actions and words have hurt me but I can't just pretend we are still our Sophomore selves and still inseparable because you shattered that for me. I wish you had just taken my first rejection three years ago and left it as that. But you just couldn't could you? You were bound to do something with me, but i never let you and well now you don't have me at all. I'm sorry.
P.S: Punch your best friend in the face for me please, because he hurt me 10 times worse than you did, okay? Goodbye.
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People dont have to love you the way you loved them. Its selfish to want that. Only you can decide whether you want to be used or not. Stay- be used. Leave- your not used! Wow! And he is allowed to say "no, that's boring."- thats expressing his preference just like you are allowed to say how you dont want x,y,z.
Replyso you are saying it is perfectly reasonable to tell a female that it is boring to do anything with her unless she f's him? that is actually quite rude if you ask me lmao
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