POV: You have BPD and your FP leaves town

Disclaimer: I’m 23 FEMALE and I have borderline personality disorder so please keep the comments as nice as possible. This is to help other people with BPD feel less alone or to spread awareness of the reality of it!

The morning she was leaving

I woke up and was so happy she was still next to me. I finally took a shower and realized I was neglecting my needs once I found out she was going away for a few days. I found out yesterday. But I basically put off taking a shower and even using the bathroom. I wish her having to leave for a few days didn’t feel like the end of the world. Im trying to hold it together but having BPD makes even something as small as her leaving for a few days feel like the end of the world.

The evening

So she left. I feel completely devastated that she’s gone. I know it’s only for a few nights but I just can’t help but to feel abandoned. Im not mad or upset with her she’s going to visit her family in another state and I honestly feel guilty for even being this sad about it. I feel selfish. She should be able to leave and do what she wants/has to without me getting sad about it. I don’t know I just wish I could be normal. I’ve spent the night smoking and talking to friends. But none of it was a good enough distraction. I cried almost the whole night and I just want my girlfriend back home.