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1) my friends all want to die! everyone is depressed and trying their best to just survive exams and can't even get therapy since-- parents
2) this makes me scared! and sad! because I love my friends and don't want them to die! they don't deserve any of this! why is this happening to THEM? not wishing it upon myself or anything of course but would that not be a much fairer bargain than me getting off scot-free while they get both not-great parents and mental health issues?
3) my last-year symmetry obsession is starting to come back again! which is bad! I can't afford to be feeling queasy every exam because I'm using only my right hand to write! I'm so tired! I also may be neurodiverse but I'll never actually know because diagnoses cost loads and I could never suggest something like this to my parents
4) everything is changing! everyone's moving after exams! everything will change again after 5 years of this! everything will be over forever!
5) still closeted! it's almost been 2 years! when will I get the courage to come out? I really don't fucking know! I'm very insecure!
6) conclusion: just want to go to sleep and not wake up, I'm going to be honest
7) (extension: ) I'd never commit unalive of course, just if I were to go into a coma while sleeping I certainly would not complain
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