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I'm turning 19 next month, and she's turning 30 by the month of July. We're together. Is that okay? Ps. I'm also a woman.
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gender dont matter but the age gap is quite big. but idk man ur basically an adult, its ur life u choose how u wanna live it. if ur worried abt it making others uncomfortable who cares. ppl will always judge so idk man do what u like.
ReplyI mean, ok. As long as you're happy. People got their own opinions on this sort of topic with age gaps and relationships. Some people think it would be awkward to be in a relationship with someone much younger or older than you because one person lived longer than the other so of course they have more knowledge and experience in the world than you do. If it were me, I wouldn't consider anyone 5 years and up ahead of my age, but that's just my own preference.
ReplyHey, I know I don't know the full extent of the situation, but relationships with such large age gaps (especially when one of the people involved is a literal TEENAGER) are usually bad news. Full grown adults that seek romantic or s*xual partners in people much younger than them are usually predatory in nature, and that's not only true for men who get with young girls. Mature queer women who want to be in relationships with teens are also creeps.
I say this because what usually draws these people to teenagers (other than their gross attraction to people who are barely legal) is how young and inexperienced they are, how they're sometimes unable to grasp the full scope of what they're getting into when they enter a relationship. It makes them easier to manage as partners, easier to control, easier to use and manipulate if they are not firm in their boundaries.
I can't say what your reasons were for getting with this woman, but ask yourself what's stopping her from being with someone who's at a similar stage of life as she is. Ask yourself what an established, middle-age adult could possibly need from a college-aged kid that they can't get from someone closer in age. Ask yourself what drew her to you in the first place (if she knew you while you were still a minor and now you're together that's a MAJOR red flag.)
And for your own safety, consider whether or not this person has ever been predatory toward you, made you feel unsafe or pressured even in a slight way. If so, that's not a good sign. Older people who date teens aren't normal, even if the teen is by legal definition an adult. A 19 year old's brain is still developing, they're still in adolescence ffs! I don't mean to come off judgy or disapproving, but it's important to share this with you in case your partner doesn't have the best intentions. If you think they're a creep, please tell a trusted adult about them, maybe a parent, a relative, a co-worker, ANYONE. Just please be safe. And remember: there's always someone around your own age who's probably a better match.
ReplyI've read these all right now. Thank you so much for the thoughts and advice
ReplyNot the same exatly but my parents were like 10 years apart and they met when she was 16-18, its perfectly normal in my eyes, but then everyone has different opinions so ima say this: if she makes you happy, makes you feel loved and amazing [and its a safe relationship and you fully trust her] then yeah, stick with her. You don't need to take other peoples advice or judgment just becuase "its odd" as long as you and her are happy then you do you.
Good luck on your journey :)
ReplyIt is fine as long as her age isn't affecting your relationship and you ... There will definitely be some criticism from people and you can't really do anything about it ... but If you reap love this person it shouldn't affect you .. It is also depends on what kind of bond you guys have ... so the one who can decide if it's ok to be with her or not is only you .. and I think you should make that decision without considering her age and thinking more about what kind of person she really is and whether you want that in your life or not .
Replyhmmm.... why that should not be ok?
Reply