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I am and had been single for 4 years now. My last relationship was for 3 months. It's not like I have trauma or something like that for being single. Being single is not bad at all but sometimes I just want someone who would listen to me and console me. Hear out my problems, my worries and tell me that all will be fine that I am doing great now.
I really miss the feeling of being loved and being in love with someone. I really want to feel the feeling of being loved, cared by someone. The reason I am being afraid of dating someone is my family. I am not poor but its hard to manage my daily living. Constantly feeling that I have nothing just rushes my mind whenever I feel of meeting someone. My family problems, financial problems and all those things that is hurting me is making me afraid that I will cowardly run away if I can't hold my life together. Breaking someone's heart just because I am struggling is the greatest fear of mine. Giving pain to someone or being in pain with me hurts me the most. The idea of falling in love is just like me making them suffer and I don't want anyone to feel the same pain that I have felt almost all of my life till now....
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THE END OF SUFFERING
Others (family members, friends, teachers, etc.) label and judge us starting at an early age. This continues and along the way we adopt descriptions like; ‘I am a ugly, pretty, handsome, rude, sensitive, special, worthless, popular, determined, indecisive, sad, smart, stupid, scared, cautious, reckless, etc.’ We learn to see ourselves as this limited ego character (a separate self) and our thoughts and actions are in the service of this idea. The ‘separate self’ feels incomplete and imperfect, and, initially, tries to get what is missing and get rid of problem areas to correct its inadequacies.
When the unwanted happens to us or the wanted does not, or every time the effort to fix our self fails, we suffer in some way or another. It can come in the form of agitation, irritation, boredom, disappointment, jealousy, regret, anxiety, depression, fear, loneliness, anger, grief, pain, or some other unwelcomed feeling or sensation.
Each of us is self-aware to an extent but when this knowledge is not clear, our true nature is hidden. A close look reveals that the common element found in every experience examined is my presence - ‘I AM there’. When I am sad, I AM present there. When I am happy, I AM present there. When I am lonely, I AM present there. When I’m in love, I AM present there. When I am angry, I AM present there. I AM the always present AWARENESS that has no size, shape, gender, race, age, weaknesses, needs, or demands. Undefinable unlimited AWARENESS can’t be harmed or diminished by anything and resists nothing.
The dance (the joy) of creation is all of God’s creatures just experiencing each other and surrounding things. For humans, however, even enjoyment from successes is short lived. We spend a lot of our available time wanting or trying to make our current situation different than it is. I finally realize that preferred objects, states of mind, wealth, circumstances, substances, activities, and relationships do not come with peace, love, or happiness attached. These feelings are not earned, provided, achieved, or possessed. They are simply aspects of my nature that radiate from my being and energize my actions when I show up as I AM.
Look inside (at your true nature) rather than outside (through objective experiences) for your answers.
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