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its so hard being here... i feel like how much ever effort that i put into, its not worth it. im not able to do what i dont like, but i have got no choice cause thats what my family wants. i cant do the things i like. i cant be with the people that i like. why is that so heartbreaking. people hate it when i care about them. they fight with me cause i care about them a lot. i care about them cause they are nice and understanding but why would they do this to me. they waited until i got attached and then they broke this to me. it was super hurtful but i couldn't say a thing to them. cause they are my people and i care about them. they increase my trust issues and everything thats going on around me. they influence me very well that if they dont do something, i dont do it. ik its very immature of me doing that but my heart does what it likes. my brain couldnt dominate my heart. gimme some advice if you know what i should be doing..................
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