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Sometimes I feel things so deeply that it seems like I'm going to drown in my thoughts. Sometimes I feel like my thoughts are going to kill me. Somedays I physically can't do anything productive. Somedays I'm hurting myself. Somedays I'm fighting so hard. Other days I feel nothing. It's like those thoughts that usually overwhelm me aren't even effecting me anymore. For the last 5-6 years it's been this endless cycle of the overwhelming feelings into absolute numbness and I can't escape it. No matter what phase I'm in of my depression, even if it's a good string of days, I never feel like I'm okay.
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As long as I have a home, supplies and maybe entertainment I can survive. It is said that if you ended your day in your bed you did well, you survived another day.
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