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Hey,
I think that when people see me for the first time, they think I’m posh, mean, and harsh. I’m just not the “bubble little sunshine that you want to hug” type of person but I can be and I am a great friend. So they don’t even try to get to know me and become haughty and uninterested themselves (I guess to protect themselves?). When I see such events, I actually become as they see me. I don’t talk to them or give them any attention because I don’t want to beg for their attention or give them feeling like they are worth the attention.
This was happening to me in high school and now in university as well. I had my first university days this week and some girls already “kicked me out” of their group. I feel horrible and unwanted and lost a lot of confidence and spark.
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It's their loss.. And remember you are not to be liked by everyone. That's not even possible. Just be you, there will be people liking you just the way you are. Don't stress about it. Be your own best friend.. Good luck!
ReplyWhen you get the urge or miss someone, you should contact them, not play control games, that is not caring for someone. One can assume these games are what would it be like to be closer to you, always having reasons to hold back your love or attention for them. It is best you don’t reach out to someone (not ever) if this is the way you intend to treat them anyway. If you enjoy speaking or writing about another person to someone else as if they are not even there (or writing about them in a chat room) you are showing them this is what it would be like to be closer to you. I guess you found a way to hurt people while not actually saying the mean things to their face, you can write about how you’re being mean and hurtful to them. You can go ahead holding onto your mean games. They shall find people to be around who play nice and refuse to gossip about them negatively to anyone else. Just sit here holding onto your mean words then. You are only making the stark contrast to an actual nice person that much greater. You will be the foil to a better character they shall come across then. We all play roles we’re best at so. I guess you’re choosing yours.
ReplyHey, thanks for your reply but I don't think you understood what I was trying to say and to be honest, I feel a bit hurt after reading this.
I've never played control games or not made effort for others. I love my friends and show that to them. I am not mean and hurtful to them, ever.
The reason why I wrote here is not to gossip or complain but to express that it hurts me because many people that I encounter for the first time create assumptions about me based on my style of clothing and I believe my face and don't even want to give me a chance to show who I really am. By saying I am not "bubbly" and "cute", I also meant for when I first meet people because I am more introverted, but not rude in any sort of way.
I believe this sentence confused you?: "I don’t talk to them or give them any attention because I don’t want to beg for their attention or give them a feeling like they are worth the attention."
This is not relating to my friends but to people that create assumptions and exclude me without even giving me a chance.
I hope I made it clearer now.
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