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I've been with my current partner for almost a year and a half now. It's my first relationship, I'm their 3rd partner, and they've been pretty much my first everything. We're almost done high school and we're doing well. I honestly didn't think we'd last this long but I'm glad we have, they've been there for me through a lot and I really appreciate their presence.
There isn't anything wrong with our relationship, just usual miscommunications etc. We've only had one fight that I can think of and it was about buying popcorn and eating it during a live theatre production; they thought it was okay but I thought it would disturb everyone around us (I conceded because it was ultimately a stupid argument that didn't really matter). If anything, I'm probably the "worse" one in the relationship, I'm a little picky, sometimes I say critical things without thinking it through first and saying it too bluntly, I shut down and can't communicate properly sometimes which frustrates them, and I can be a little moody for no reason (I blame the OCs because that didn't happen until I started taking them).
Something that has come up a lot though is that I'd like to try being polyamorous. I'm very happy with my partner and I'm content being monogamous but sometimes I have this itch to meet new people. I've always been a flirt, not on purpose, I think it's just in my nature, but I love meeting new people and falling into crush. Not love, but crush, a short infatuation, just like a desire to bond- have an exciting emotional connection, staying up late and learning about someone's likes and dislikes, bantering, etc.. I'd love to meet new people and go on dates while having the safety and security of a permanent relationship, someone who is always there to lean on. I don't think I'd want to commit to entering relationships with other people but go on a bunch of first dates, have different experiences with different people and be introduced to new world views and values. I just love falling in "love".
My partner doesn't feel comfortable with this, it's a discussion we've had a couple times, and I'm okay with it. I enjoy being with them and that's the important part, it's not like I'd even know how to break into the world of polyamoury, especially in our small town. The problem is though, that I've been feeling really emotionally unfulfilled recently. My partner is content just cuddling and doing stuff on our own phones for hours or just watching something together while we hang out- and while I'm generally okay with that my love language is quality time. I love days of doing stuff together, it could be going for a walk, doing chalk-art, playing cards, even watching a movie (just not all the time). I've brought this up before and every time we say we're going to do more, and it works for a couple weeks but then we just fall into the same habits of them being a lot on their phone and me just matching their energy because I don't want to bother them.
Once when I brought up that I want to do more they told me "What do you think kids our age do? Highshool relationships are pretty much just watching tv, hanging out at home, and sex." (it wasn't exactly like that, but it had the same general feeling/jist) I just feel like there has to be more. Is this normal? Am I overthinking? I just feel like the connection we have isn't as strong anymore and I've tried a lot to fix it. I'm scared to break up with them though because we're in the same friend group of like 4 people and it would break it up, we're also so close to graduating, and I don't know if I'm just overthinking and this will pass. It's not like there's anything inherently wrong with our relationship and I still love them, I'm just not getting the emotional stimulation I want. I've thought about offering a relationship reset- pretend like we're gonna start from the beginning, go on date like we don't know each other, relearn everthing, but what if it doesn't work??
So- how do you know when it's time to break up with someone??
P.S. Sorry for the longwinded post thank you for bearing with me
TLDR; I'm thinking of breaking up with my partner I've been dating for 1 1/2 years because I'm not feeling emotionally fulfilled anymore but I'm not sure if I'm jus overthinking or not.
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