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I always knew rape was scary
I don't know that I really knew how.
Yes I wake up with the night terror where I'm still there, or never left at all
But I always been a fan of writing stories. Writing MY life as if it were a story. Even through my breaks and and falls had MY handwriting all over the page. I could tell in the moment that my actions... my life were writing a beautiful story.
Then I lost myself slowly, time after time of loosing my body I guess at one point I lost it. Where suddley I was removed, an author, or oblivious ,a charecter... and since you and you I can never be both.
So from then on any one met me only got half of me. And anyone who knew me lost half of both. And I think the part that's scary is that this many years later and I still don't know how.
How to forgive
How to sleep
How to relax
How to fall in love or fall at all
How to erase the back story that I didn't write
How to write a story that's worth being the main charecter again
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