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my parents arent divorcing because of their kids there together because of us and its worse
1 year ago · 1 · Need Advice, +3
266
my parents are only together because of their kids and it honestly just makes it worse i would rather them be happy then them be constantly fighting knowing its my fault. i have 3 siblings all going places that are awesome but im going no where and all their lives are harder than mine. my sister(9) has SJIA 9systemic juvenile idiophathic arthritis) and shes still studying nursing and likely getting a scholarship to nursing school. my younger brother(11) is an extremely passionate person about nature and works part time at a nature reserve but hes also slightly autistic and has adhd. my older brother(15) is a little bit of everything, he can play tuba, trombone, trumpet, piano, and guitar and will likely take after my father in music industry. but then theres me(13) who keeps my grades up straight A's and in 3 clubs i do drama art and tutor i also have soccer and play piano but im not good at any of it im decent at all ofit but not good enough, not enough to get my parents attention anyways which brings me back to the topic of my parents, when i was 12 my mom brought me and my older brother into my room and said she knows we noticed that her and my dad have been fighting more and said that " i know you know your dad and i havent been getting along and i know youv thought about us getting divorced and being honest so have i, your aunt adair and i have been talking and we think that for now we will stay together because we know how hard it would be for you guys so well stay and i dont want you telling your siblings about this please its for the better okay." then she forced a smile put her finger up to her lips as my sister calls her name and she walks away. my older brother and i have a terrible relationship but we just ignore eachother and it works but in that moment of shock and loud silence we sat there and stared at eachother and slowly started crying silent sobs and didnt move for a long time he was holding his head between his knees in a bean bag chair and i was sitting on the bed legs crossed trying not to cry and hold it together, i hadnt cried in so long it felt so un-natural and wrong but i just slowly let the tears slip away as i sit staring at the wall looking like a pshyco path but the next day i went to school and the cycle repeated for months and now somehow its the end of the year and im still getting good grades stillhave no friends still have no social media(i tried it nce my grades and self esteem plumbeted and never again) i still cant talk to my parents about anything my sister is still my light and joy because of her innoncense and my hope for this generation so i guess thats it i thik this was a vent so yeah to this day i havent told anyone about what i heard that fateful day in my room.
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I forgot to sign in before posting this now it doesn't show up under my name and won't notify me when you comment please just be respectful ty for all the help sorry for the bad grammar btws
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