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I am struggling so much. Today is particularly bad and I haven't gotten out of bed. My friend wanted me to go out with her and I said sure, I asked my mum and she said I can't stay in bed all day and then go out with a friend. I understand that but it just hurts and I've been crying for 2 hours because I probably disappointed my friend. Its not like I was planning to stay in bed all day but it just happened. I think my mum has started to see me as a burden, I have a panic attack and she gives me a glass of water and leaves me alone till its over. She gets a call from my correspondence school and tells me that I need to do my work which I am doing, my teacher didn't see my email and the current work I'm doing needs to be submitted in bulk and its quite a lot and would take around a month if I rushed. I love her but I don't think she loves me anymore and sees me as more of a burden. I know she's dealing with a lot right now and shouldn't have to be emotionally avaliable to me 24/7 but I wish she'd give me a hug when I asked. I've been starving myself to get her attention because i for some reason think that will help, it'll probably cause more stress but I just want to feel loved by her. I just want to feel like she cares about me. I haven't lost a dramatic amount of weight yet so she hasn't noticed anything but I don't eat anything until dinner and even then I only eat a small amount. I'm hoping she notices and gives me a hug
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You aren't communicating with your mum very well. She can't read your mind yet you aren't telling he r what you need from her. So tell her or at least write her a note telling her.
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