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So i had loved this boy once, a couple of years ago from now, about 5 years. And i gave him pretty much anything he wanted, i was so blind back then, i literally would have given him ANYTHING from me, i gave him my attention, advice, so, so on. I loved him, and i felt that he was the only person i could really have deep conversations with, & connect so well too, i didnt have anyone in my mind besides him. Until a whole landslide came, and well, thats where it ended, i felt rejected, and left out in the cold. I felt that i was token advantage of, so i never really loved anyone again, he was my first love. And it took total on me now.. im afraid to trust someone too much, or get close to someone too much now, im more guarded than i ever was before.. i barely show my vulnerable side now. It feels like i lost a part of myself, and i dont know who i even am, & i wish i could just wake up one day and be who i once was, finding warmth and closure. I cry every time i think of him, and how foolish i was, why did i hurt myself so blindly.
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You will get over this with time and when you meet someone else you will be a little guarded at first but later on you will come to trust him and everything should be fine.
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