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Just a bit of a vent, tag along to hear about my pee problems :,)
1 year ago · 4 · social anxiety, +3
296
Hello!
I am a female in my early teens. And I have something called Severe Paruresis!(Its not yet medically diagnosed but it is severe, and follows all the symptoms.) No this is not a phobia of toilets, it is however an extreme anxiety of using the bathroom with other people around me!(Search it up to gain more info!)
I see many men struggle with this diagnosis when using urinals around other men. But there’s not too many cases I’ve heard of other women having this issue so I just thought I’d share my experiences as a sort of therapy on here.
When researching Paruresis I found out that is reportedly the second most common for of social anxiety amongst the world! Which is crazy because I have almost never heard of anyone having or sharing symptoms like me. And most usually peoples symptoms go away from anywhere from a few months to a year. However this is something I’ve struggled with for notably FOUR YEARS now.
But let’s get into my experiences with this horrible syndrome,
I like most people have no problem with peeing physically. I enjoy peeing, it’s a relief, it’s got no painful symptoms for me, etc. However whenever I go out in public I, for the life of me, can’t pee when someone else is in the bathroom.
This means even if they are in stalls away from me or even if they are up washing or blow drying their hands I can’t pee. As long as they are in the same room I just absolutely can’t. And it is not for lack of trying. Because as far as I am aware I am absolutely relaxed and ready to go. It feels as if I’m fully relaxed down there. And this is in no way a problem with my actual bladder or bladder system because as soon as I am alone in a bathroom I can pee normally. And you may be wondering well why is this a problem? Just avoid public restrooms throughout the day?
That is something I have been doing for the past four years. I avoid public bathrooms. When I’m at school I hold it all day. I avoid drinking water or beverages so I won’t have to pee. And it’s fine if it’s a straight 8 hour day. I’ve managed to train my bladder that long.
However it is at peak anxiety for me when on vacations. Because road-trips and hotel bathrooms are places where I will be surrounded by people when going.
It goes about like this;
“Mom I have to go pee, let’s stop at a gas station because they normally have single person bathrooms.” And she agrees and we stop and go in.
Then when we get to the bathroom I always have to tell my sister and mom that I have to go in first before other people come in if it’s not a single room restroom. So then I go in there and if I’m lucky I go pee before others come in. If not that’s when the nightmare occurs. Keep in mind my sister and mom have to wait on me to pee alone before they come in to pee.
I sit there as if to use the bathroom and another women walks in and sits in the stall close to me. And now all I can do is sit there and think to myself, “Why aren’t you peeing?” “She’s not listening to you? She’s minding her business? She won’t say anything to you, your mom and sister are getting angry!” “Why have you been in here so long, why the hell aren’t you peeing? Go, go, go!!” And then it leads me down a spiral. I know I’m perfectly safe it’s as if my body just refuses to acknowledge that I know I’m okay. So now that I’m anxious mainly about my mom and sister waiting on me, more and more girls come in and I just can’t go. Normally when this happens I take a big sigh, get up without having gone pee, flush the toilet to make people think I at least did something, and wash my hands and go.
I get up and walk out without having gone. This happens on roadtrips, trips to the airport, hotels if the bathroom is close enough to my family’s space, friends homes, every and all public bathrooms.
My brain hates me. And my body refuses to go. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even really pee at home because the thought of my family memebers being outside won’t let me go either.
Four years of this curse. And my family even blames me for it. They think I do it for attention or that it’s a real easy fix but it isn’t. Who in the world would want to be such a burden to be around? My family has to wait on me to pee like a toddler. And even when I can’t I burden myself with the painful feeling of pee in my bladder. I release at least gallons at a time now because I just can’t go. I’m almost always uncomfortably full of pee at all times when outside now.
It’s a burden. I’m sick and tired of it. And my family won’t or doesn’t know how to help me. And I’ve tried explaining it but really I’m all alone because they don’t care or have the time to really put in the work to help me.
I know I’m safe in the bathrooms. I know the people in there will know I’m peeing and not mind. I know that’s what a bathroom is for. So why can’t my body just get the memo already? It’s been four lousy years.
If you can please comment a bit of help or kind words. Maybe I’ll think about it the next time I pee lmao 😭😭😭
And please try to educate yourself on what Paruresis/Bashful Bladder Syndrome/Shy Bladder is if you’ve never heard of it!
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If another woman is in the public toilet and you can't hear her peeing, maybe it's because she's not there to urinate. Maybe she is dealing with her period.
ReplyI've had it minorly. We call it stage fright. If I'm near someone sometimes I have trouble going. Its been awhile. Have you ever tried turning on water in the bathroom sometimes that can help. Your parents shouldnt be that way to you.
ReplyThis sounds like it is caused by anxiety. When someone is there you feel anxious or stressed and when you are alone you feel relaxed enough to pee. I wonder if this is the same when you poo.
ReplyHello, I am the person who made this post! Yes, I do believe this is an issue caused by my anxiety I just can’t seem to understand why I get so anxious? But yes this has happened mildly in cases where I go poop as well, but that was only mild and I’ve gotten over it now I believe. My bathroom issues really be giving me a run for my money :,)
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