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I'm scared. I'm currently going up in senior high school and due to some circumstances, it's 90% sure that I am not going to college so after senior high school, I'm gonna go get a job. I chose ABM and already got enrolled sadly, I was late to know that I could've gotten TVL as my strand but that strand isn't available in the school I'm going. I'm not competent or talented or sincere and stuff, I have anxiety, I'm afraid of what people think of me.. so when I think of myself, I can imagine myself not getting a job or being to scared on the job. I'm scared I'll be a burden to my parent and I'll to depend on them. I also realized I have a very hard time making decisions for myself and I don't know what to do. Sometimes I think that if I'm this useless, is it better if I die? It's just a passing thought. I wish I'm stable like my older sister or brother. I wish I was more capable but I'm clumsy, forgetful, slow witted. I'm not sure what I should do or what I should feel. It hard.
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You should not die. There are so many different jobs out there that you are sure to find one or a few that suit you. Best of luck.
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