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I literally can not ask her to do 1 thing. Not even something important. My son's birthday party is this saturday and our livingroom was FULL of clutter, mostly because she is a pack rat and likes to keep EVERYTHING! Me and my boyfriend have went through the entire livingroom and made a pile of things that we needed her to go through last night. I needed the pile gone by the morning because I need space to paint the walls today. Well. The pile is still there and she didnt even touch it. Even though we expressed how important it was for it to get done last night. I am SO frustrated! Now i have even more work to do today because i have to move the pile somewhere else so that i can pull everything away from the walls and into the middle of the room! I only have 2 days to get this painting done before the party because my sisters wedding is next weekend and I have other obligations i have to do before my sons birthday party that relates to the wedding! So i am very very frustrated and annoyed. Like why cant i ask her to do literally 1 thing and she actually do it for us. Now i am just waiting for her to get her annoying ass to bed so i can go out there and do the things i need to do in peace. She is a very frustrating woman and this is just 1 example of the many ways that this lady wreaks havoc in my life. There are MANY more. trust me. I wish she didnt live with us anymore. But my boyfriend being the kind guy he is, let her stay here when her house got forclosed, and it was suppose to be temporary, but shes still here 3.5 years later. I just cant stand her. I really needed that pile gone. Im ready to just throw it all outside. :(
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Throw the pile out and her with it.
ReplyYou have a lot of high-stress events coming up that need to be "just so". So everything feels like high-stakes at the moment.
It sounds like your mother-in-law (MIL) really doesn't have her sh## together, in many ways, and that is frustrating to you when it gets in the way of the things you want to be getting done.
What kind of conversation did you have between your BF and his mother before she moved in with you guys? What boundaries and expectations were set about how this arrangement was going to work? It's been three and a half years. This is looking less and less temporary. Sounds like BF does not have your back when it comes to being able to enjoy your living space without MIL in it.
She is not going to change - I'm sure you've already had this conversation with her about being a better housemate. So I think you need to change the situation. Time to get BF on board, and set a time-frame on when she leaves. Give her all the help you can to get her in a wholesome situation that is not in your house. Or else decide on whether you'll have to be the one to leave.
Your options at this point are A) adapt your point of view to tolerate her ongoing presence. B) have her move out. C) leave.
I'm sorry you have this elephant in your room, especially while you're trying to paint the walls.
ReplyThanks for your comment, I appreciate the outside input for sure. We actually landed a really good opportunity, in buying another house and we decided to move out of that house and rent the rooms out to his mother and some other family members. So I guess I did end up leaving from that stressful environment. Now we are happily in our new house and away from the drama and stress, finally an actual family after 4 years (our son is 4). I cant even explain how happy I am.
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