What are you looking for?
1 week ago · · Stress,
I have tried for many years to find myself and go after something I want but what I want is unattainable. I have this wonderful group of friends that are my family. My parents have passed away and I am a only child. A lot of the time I feel so alone in the world even though I have friends by my side. Some of the relationships I have are not healthy and I know that but I am too afraid to say that out loud. I'm in love with someone that will never love me that way but it's so hard because we are so close and he truly means the world to me. We have been through a lot together. I wouldn't be alive if it wasn’t for him. That being said he is finally dating this his dream girl and I am very happy for him because he deserves everything good in life. The part that throws me is me and his girlfriend are so similar. We never dated because he didn't want to ruin the friendship and I totally understand that but it still hurts. He has no idea that I still struggle with it and I want to keep it that way. I've never had a person that cares so much like he does and I am not willing to ruin it because my heart is broken. I have to move on and date and get him out of my mind. Dating is so challenging these days because people aren't the way they used to be. They don't want relationships, they morals are all over the place and communication is not up to par. My life needs a reboot! I need to get healthy and stay on a straighten path, I need to commit to myself and see where that takes me. I am so involved with other things that are not going anywhere and that truly sucks. Life is just passing me by and I am letting it slip through my fingers. I almost don't feel like I am strong enough to make these changes. Life is hard and I've never been a quitter but man... right now this feel almost impossible. I have no idea how this website works or if anyone will see this but I am going to keep writing because I can't tell anyone what I am really going through. I am scared of the consequences it might bring and my heart can't take anymore.