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I feel so ugly and fat. I hate swimming now because I hate how I look in a bathing suit. I put a shirt overtop of it when I wear one but it doesn't help much. I understand why he doesn't like me anymore honestly. I'm so damn jealous of my friends, they're all stunning but I'm not. They call themselves ugly and I just think, 'How could they ever think that about themselves?' I just wanna be pretty like them. I never tell them how I feel about myself because they'll probably just shrug it off or make some joke about how I'm right. Those jokes fucking hurt though. They're all so sweet though so please no mean comments about them, they just don't understand how sensitive I am I guess. They mean no harm at all. One of my friends once actually said I looked skinny in one of my hoodies and now thats my favorite hoodie lol. I felt so good when she said that to me. I want black hair and bluer eyes too. I wish that I looked like her, the girl my crush likes, she's gorgous. Beautiful curly hair and the perfect body, she's also super fast and smart. How can you get better than that? Answer, you can't.
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I went to the store a week ago to try on a swimsuit because my mom encouraged me to. I didn't like how I looked in any as well. Well, for one don't do anything bad to yourself. Second, don't try to be someone else just because they're prettier than you or something. That's happened to me before, and I absolutely regret trying to be like some people because in the end, I wasn't happy at all. Right now, the best I can do is workout and exercise. That's good and I can see some improvements with myself. I suggest you try to do some home workouts as well! It'll help you mentally and physically. But don't overwork yourself either. If you don't like yourself, then you have to improve yourself. You have to do what you need to do in order for you to be happy. You're not an ugly person and I don't need pictures to know that. I bet you're an amazing person who can do great things. Find some hobbies you like! Maybe other people can be inspired by you with your talents. Just know that you can change, but don't hate yourself.
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