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I was asked recently what my biggest regret in life was but I was too ashamed to admit what mine really was:
The biggest regret in my life is self harming throughout my teens. The shame, the lack of self respect and the misery it bought into my life and the horrible memories that I still struggle to leave behind now. I have experienced flashbacks periodically which interfere with sleep and with work sometimes. I had to spend much of my time thereafter rebuilding trust with everyone I knew. Nobody felt that I could be left alone so I lost one of the most important things to most people, privacy. I was not allowed to be left alone , I had to be taken to the loo , to lunch. I had to be escorted to my lessons at school. I lost my independence and subsequently I’ve spent the vast majority of time since then , rebuilding confidence that I should already have. Socially I am behind. Yes, that’s the thing I regret the most so far. I no longer self harm and have not done so since I was 18 but the effect of that part of my life is a bit like a leach . That he hole part of my life is a bit like a blank space.
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Thank you for this interesting post.
ReplyHello! Thank you for telling us this. It’s never too late to catch up with the things you couldn’t do in the past. You can still gain independence, become more social, and make up for all the things you’ve missed. Right now, you may not have realized but you are socializing and sharing your feelings to the website with a possibility of thousands or hundreds of people reading your story. You can add this to your achievements. Make sure you take a break and breathe. It’s your life, only you can take control.
You are not alone, you are never left behind. You’re on the right track on your own phase. Some people moves fast, some are slow. I find myself to be in the slow phase, but I’m able to accept my situation more because I know one day I’ll reach my goals. And I’m taking advantage on the things that are present infront of me or around me.
I’m encouraging you to not give up. I believe in you. You will overcome every obstacles, because you’re strong and determined (being able to still be here at this point). I wish you well in life! Best of luck, lots of love for you. <3
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