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a dream i cant quite understand
3 days ago · · Stress, · Explicit
i had a dream where my cousin (who im having difficulties with rn) married this other girl i dislike. so before i say the story i think you should know that the “difficulties” are about her new bsf who she replaced me with all of the sudden and she stopped talking to me basically.
so the dream kinda went like this:
i was just in my room and all of the sudden my cousin (who we’ll call blue) said she was busy today and couldnt hang out. i asked her out of curiosity what shes gonna do and she said “im getting married.” idk why but i didnt even think of it as a joke and immediately felt like she was being serious. then i saw the person who she was marrying and holy shit it was another girl who i disliked (not her bsf). i just said “seriously?” and they were so ugh. i forgot what happened after but i realized that she didnt even invite me, nor did she tell me she was even dating her. so i got angry. i said “and you didnt even fucking invite me or tell me u were dating someone?” and blue was just… idk how to describe her face but we stood there in silence for like a minute. i wanted answers. then blue looked at her fiance and back at me and said “well… you both dont like eachother so… i didnt invite you.” LIKE WTF??? SO WHAT IF I DONT LIKE HER?? I LIKE YOU!!! so obviously i got so fucking furious and said “IM UR FUCKING COUSIN” and she said something like “i know but-“ but i just shoved my way outside. i remember desperately trying to find help online because no one in person cared. even if i did try telling someone in person, everyone liked her as if she was an angel and they just wouldn’t believe me or even care. they were also all rushing to get ready for the wedding that i wasnt invited to. so i tried and tried; i was looking for numbers to call when you need to vent or just websites to write about it, but for some reason all of the links that came up were just jokes. they werent really meant to vent or talk to someone, they were all just jokes somehow. none of the links were real. and i was so stressed and angry and absolutely sad because i felt like i didn’t matter. and then i went back inside for some reason and blue said i could go to their wedding. i was fucking pissed again. i didnt want to invite myself to their wedding if they didnt want me there in the first place. sure i couldve just went but i felt such great shame. my own cousin who i grew up with just put me aside because her fiance didnt like me.
time skipped for some reason and now that “fiancé” is dating my older brother and i lost all connections to my cousin, once again. it’s been a few weeks or days since my brother started dating the ex-fiance. i disliked everything about her and although she was (i think) living with us, i still just tried ignoring her. none of my family members paid attention to my clear feelings about her. i tried telling my mom but she just laughed at me. i remember one day the ex-fiance wrote a letting for my brother—in my name. i found it before him i believe and i was fucking pissed. i went to her and asked her what it is but she wouldnt tell me. she kept refusing to give an explanation. so i threatened to tell my parents and my brother about it and at first she was startled but i think she realized i wouldve still told my brother regardless. so she said “do it.” i did. i told them about it, but none of them cared. and once again my mom just laughed to my face. and then i woke up.