What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-8255 (NSPL) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line). More resources.
I’m not a good parent. I struggle with mental illness and although I’m now medicated I’m still really struggling because my children have suffered the effects of being born with two undiagnosed mentally ill parents who were very toxic for each other. I don’t know how to deal with any of this and I just want to kill myself because I feel they’d be better off without me and what’s worse is now I’ve told my own child he hurts me so much sometimes that I want to end my own life because I don’t feel like he needs me. I’m and emotionally abusive piece of shit and I don’t deserve to be a parent. I hate myself and I want to die. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t think I can do this even one more day. I can’t take back what I’ve said or done and I just want to die now.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
I didn't want her I didn't want her I didn't want her
My baby is 2 months old now. I hate her. She wasn't meant to be mine. It wasn't supposed to happen. I didn't want kids and then that guy raped me and now Im stu...
-
what is wrong with me
why am i like this? what did i do to deserve to be depressed? to have no one to care about me? why are there so many things wrong with me? why cant i be normal?...
Hello,
Every child needs a parental guidance. Especially a loving, supporting, accepting, understanding, and caring one. You are suffering with mental illness, and you’ve said that you’re taking medications for it. If you are determined to change for your kid, you’re going to continue to fight for it. Because your kid is your life now, he is made by you and by the other parent. It’s going to take a lot of effort, but as long as your determination is there, you’re able to overcome these struggles. Please, don’t give up because you can still live a beautiful life with your kid. Right now, he’s also going through the same struggles as you that’s why it’s hard for him to show you love, care, etc. Give each other some space, but as a parent, continue to try to give him love, support, kindness, understanding, and time. Breathe, or meditate for a few mins. Try to reflect. Other than that, this is only my advice. 😅
I’m not a parent myself. I’m a teenager. My parents weren’t the best, and they have been separated since more than 5 years ago. However, they still try to support us by helping us in payments for our school, but it’s not what I need. I just need love from them, but at the same time I feel like it’s too late for them to love me because I’ve accepted their separation.
My mother keeps stressing over his new boyfriend and sometimes takes out her anger on us. Now that’s what is making me distant from her. Because she would rather think of her own life at times than us. We didn’t expected to be born, but they keep expecting us to learn by ourselves and grow independently by ourselves. She also expects us to be rich one day and take care of her. And when things seems tough she would always tell us/or think about her dying. It is selfish, because how about us? Her own children? We weren’t given the amount of guidance we needed, and now she’s thinking of dying? What about us? We’re also struggling, but we’re doing our best to work together because I want to live a life I’ll enjoy one day. With friends, or people I care about. Doing fun things. Enjoying myself. Exploring life.
About my father, he is not around that much either, and I don’t have a great relationship with him but I still respect them both. My father is no different from my mom, he would try to show us love but then tries to make us look the bad ones for missing school (I have school anxiety and social anxiety).
Sharing my situation is not meant to make you feel bad. I’m sorry if that’s how you felt. I’m only sharing my position in life so that you might have an idea of what’s going through your kid’s mind or life.
Here’s a hug for you! *hugs* I believe you can still make changes. ❤️ Please please please, think about your kid. You can still be the best parent for your kid. Even if it seems too late to love him, keep showing him support, love, and care. That way, atleast you know you’ve given your best to your child and did not neglect them. If you continue to show them love, patience, you’ll make an impact on them somehow. You want to be remembered as the parent who gave their bestest.
ReplyThank you so much for your reply. It helped a lot to hear what you had to say. I have been going through a really hard time lately and have exhausted the one person I could talk to about this. I also couldn’t tell him how I really feel sometimes, it upsets him too much. I love my children so much. I almost lost them both, I had high risk pregnancies. When I my first son was born I had gotten out of surgery and do not sleep for the first 72 hours and refused pain medication because I didn’t want to fall asleep because his father was no help. With my second son he stopped moving and he wouldn’t have made it through the night had I not went to the hospital. I love them and I want to be here for them. I feel so guilty when I feel like I want to end my life. I can’t do that to them. I’m trying so hard to get healthy. I don’t live in the best situation. I just graduated with four degrees that might as well be high school diplomas because they won’t get me anywhere. I have at least 18 month of more schooling ahead of me and then I have to try to find a decent paying job and try to afford a place to live in one of the most expensive states so I can try to get full custody of my kids so they aren’t permanently messed up by all of this. They need consistency which I provided them. They didn’t have these behaviors until a judge ordered 50/50 custody and I was stuck with this awful arrangement where my kids don’t know whether they are coming or going. Every two days they are leaving me. They have been brainwashed and poisoned by their father’s family and it’s caused so much hate towards me and mine. I know my son is angry with me. He feels like I didn’t protect him, he doesn’t trust me and he’s lashing out and his father has lied to him so much that he thinks I’m a liar. He’s convinced my son that things he saw with his own eyes aren’t true and that I’m lying about them. Needless to say it’s all a mess. I’m thankful to have a supportive boyfriend my children love now. I know it’ll get better when we have a place together and custody of the kids.
Anyway I’m sorry this is lengthy. My heart goes out to you about your situation. I don’t mind you sharing at all. I appreciate it. It helps me to remember we all have things going on in our lives. Sometimes I have to stop and read before posting just to gain some perspective about my own problems. My children always come first, my boyfriend is the same with his, it’s been that way since the beginning and it’s been 4 years now. I will take into consideration about giving my son space, support and I’m really working on my patience. It’s really hard when there’s too much inconsistency around me with the people I live with. That’ll change when we move though. I’m hoping we can move before I finish school. *Fingers crossed* Thank you for your kind words and I hope things get better for you. I know life isn’t alway fair but I also know when you work hard enough things do tend to work themselves out eventually. You have a good head on your shoulders and I’m sure you’re going to go far in life. ❤️ *hugs*
Reply