What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
TW: sex, sexual a$$ualt , masturbation, orgasm, +
1 year ago · 2 · Need Advice ASAP, +5 · Explicit
390
trigger warning:
I don’t know what it is specifically. When I was a kid, I was molested for an average of 2-3 years by the same man. I was…it was around kindergarten. No…I was still w a babysitter. I remember my babysitter would always catch me masturbating.
I remember I saw a movie scene once, and I had that warm, throbbing feeling in my pelvic area. I used this scene for years. I remember I would sit in my bed, lay on the floor, lean against the counter-anything-to get this feeling to rise. My babysitter would always go, “I know what you’re doing.”
Studies show for sexual abuse in young children, that they’ll touch themselves, or rub themselves, ask people to engage w them, ask to play sexual games.
I still wonder how no one noticed.
Needless to say, I’ve been masturbating since… before Kindergarten. I still perform acts of self pleasure, as any other human would do. And I cum. I masturbate and I orgasm.
I’ve never had an orgasmic experience w another human being. My ex boyfriend and I dated for…1 year and 9 months, and have fucked for probably 2 years. Not once did he ever make me cum.
There were times where’d I’d be so close, and I feel it, and I think, “Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” and then - boom- it’s fucking gone. The feeling is gone.
My doctor said it was because my mind was so conscious but… I don't know.
There’s this guy I’m fooling around w right now, and the sex is great. He’s my really good friend and hanging out w him is great. But I still can’t come. My legs start shaking, and I’m breathing so heavy, and then it’s gone.
I wish I could cum. I want to come. I want to have that experience w another person. My ex has even tried to use toys and stuff and it’s like…not the same?
Fuck. I wish I could come w another person. I want to. What do I do? It sucks. Is it his fault for what he did to me as a kid? Is it mine for masturbating for so long? Is it like my body is used to masturbating and not sex, even though I’ve been having sex for a little over 2 years now?
Sigh. Thanks for letting me vent xx.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
Think about this for a second...
When one single screw is missing while building furniture, it could be dangerous. When one single traffic light stops working, there will be massive chaos in th...
-
worrying, need advice
so i found out that i have around 5-7 library books in my house that havent been returned since during lockdown the public library was closed. its been open for...
I don't know the reason but I just wanted to share you that I was also assaulted when I was almost 8. I was traumatised when I came to know what really happened to me when I was in my teens. I thought I will never be able to be in relationship with anyone but I got into a relationship. My ex and I used to have phone sex but worst part was that he blackmailed me and gave me threats about forced sex when I told him that I don't wanna send nudes as I was feeling something wrong and wanted to give myself time. So he made my trauma even worst. I never told him about my past but he made it more worse. And like you I also the urge to masturbate a lot and I don't know how to stop it. I think my condition is kinda similar to you. I don't know what to do. I'm just trying to stop it. And because of my ex I don't know when I will be able to feel like going into relationship again.
ReplyYou'll never be in the wrong for this, I wish you luck in your situation. <3
Reply