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2 months ago · · Need Advice,
I have a female friend whom I have know for 4 years. Last 2 years we became very close. We'd talk each day and enjoy each other's company. We study in the same institution.
I never noticed that my constant messaging with her was because I liked her and wanted to be more than friends with her. I realized this when we had a fight and didn't talk to her for 4 months. Those four months were the most difficult months of my university life. I didn't enjoy anything, didn't like talking to anyone.
After 4 months we made up and started being friends again. Once I spoke with her after 4 months I realized what she meant to me. I understood my feelings. And I want to move ahead with her in this matter.
A few days back I was a bit drunk and called her and asked her if she felt bad not talking to me for four months. She said she cried for 3 hours for something I said. I told her that she cried for three hours and I felt like I had deposited all my valuables inside a vault and kept the key with her and when she left I felt that my valuables and the vault was gone.
I don't know if she understood the meaning behind it.
I'm quite reserved. I can't share my emotions.
The major problem is she has been texting with a guy for the past 2 years who stays in the US. That guy was her schoolmate and told her that he likes her. A few months back I was encouraging her to date him as he seems to be a very nice guy, but now my heartaches every time she mentions his name. It's not that I hate the guy, he is still nice but I want her to be mine.
I have three options in mind at the moment.
1) Sharing my feelings with her hope for the best. (Con - We study together and it might ruin our friendship and I can't bear the thought of her being with someone else while I'm there.)
2) Hide my feelings and suppress it (Con - It'll trouble me every time I see and think about her)
3) Wait till my graduation which is next year and share my feelings with her for closure and tell her to contact me if she wants that same otherwise it's better if I tread my own path as I can't bear seeing her with someone else. (Con - I'll feel miserable due to the suppressed emotions atleast for a year)
I'll be forever grateful if someone could advise me. Thank you for reading.