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I am 12 yrs old currently and my life is still so hard. From a young age I’ve experienced anger issues, depression and anxiety. My father was very abusive towards me and my younger brother I thought I forgave him until this year he had another child with a woman. My anger is coming back because of it, and when I was 7-8 my cousin sexually assaulted me I still haven’t recovered I don’t think I fully ever will. My hatred towards things are increasing, my anger issues are becoming more violent. I’ve been getting into a lot of fights with my Family because they favorite my cousin who assaulted me over me and it had led me to think about taking drugs to cure my mind. I don’t know what to do anymore I’m so mad at everyone. Nobody wants to hear me out just wants to yell at me. I need advice please
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I'm 13. I haven't experienced half the hardships you have, but I've done some disgusting things that I think I'm going to have to face the repercussions for soon.
Don't do drugs. That will guarantee your life's end. Doing drugs at 12 never leads to anything good. In fact, you may become even more distraught.
I know it probably doesn't mean much to you, but I'm sorry your cousin assaulted you. You absolutely didn't deserve that. Maybe you can find some resources online to help you start to recover? I think you need to talk to someone. Maybe someone online you can trust who has gone through something similar. Probably not your family.
You have a right to be upset. You don't need to forgive your father or your cousin or anyone. I think you should look for a healthier way to channel that anger. Find something to love instead.
But honestly, you're 12. You don't need or deserve any of this. The best thing I can tell you right now is to find something that can help you. I struggled with depression since I was 8 and I still don't think I'm fully together. I think you're strong though. You're much more than everything you've had to go through. Having something you can hold onto and believe is good. Maybe think about this-- in about 6 years, you'll be a legal adult and you'll be able to make more choices for yourself. Later, you can possibly move away from your family and pursue your own life. Again, the words I'm typing right now probably don't mean much to you, but I believe in you.
ReplyVery well written especially for your age. I hope she reads your response and it helps.
ReplyHi, I’m in my 20s now and I was where you were 9 years ago. You’re gonna be okay and get away from this. Believe in that. If I can do it, you can too. I’m sorry this happened. Is there anyone who could help you? Anyone you know and trust who is an adult?
ReplyThat is a LOT to have had to deal with when you're 12.
It can be very difficult to process those feelings about abuse - especially as you get older, and gain new insights and perspectives that cause you to look back on it all afresh, and have a whole new mixture of feelings about it, as you assimilate the new information and your old understanding of what happened.
Anger is a very common response to painful experiences like the ones you have suffered. Especially when you are still so young, and perhaps don't have a better way of expressing your sense of betrayal and injustice. The worrying part is that you feel like it's getting out of hand, but you can definitely learn ways of dealing with it in a safe way.
Your family probably don't have good ways of coping with your experiences, or your rage, either. You're frustrated that you can't get them to listen and meet your needs, and they're defensive about their treatment of you.
Drugs are almost certainly not a solution to your problems, but a therapist or counsellor might be able to help you work through some of those feelings, find better ways of channelling that anger into something less harmful, and be able to coach you in how to approach conversations with your family so that you can get your voice heard without everyone starting to fight.
Does your school offer counselling, or anger management? If not, you might be able to speak to someone through a charity like Mind, or the NSPCC (if you are in the UK).
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/for-children-and-young-people/anger/dealing-with-anger/
ReplyI can tell you with 1000 percent certainty that drugs WILL NOT cure your mind . They really mess you up chemically possibly to the point of no return. Maybe when school starts again you can seek counseling through them, sounds like it would really benefit your situation.
ReplyYou have had to deal with so much for someone who is so young. I am so proud of you for facing each day and for coming here to share this post and share your story. You are doing so well.
Being angry as a result of everything that has happened to you is absolutely understandable. I have faced similar things recently and I am much more irritable than I used to be. I am finding that 'mindfulness' and focussing on my breathing is helping me to keep my emotions in check. If that is something you are interested in, there are lots of mindfulness tutorials on youtube.
Please don't take drugs. What you have gone through is difficult to move beyond but drugs will only make that worse, not better. Taking substances is not a long term solution unless they are prescribed by fully qualified medical professional. It can be really tricky when you are young to go to the doctors. If you feel like that isn't something you can do, there are lots of helpline that you can call. There will be someone you can talk to and get advice from in real time so you might find that really helpful.
You are doing so well and I am really proud of you for everything that you have achieved, are achieving and are going to achieve in life.
ReplyI am so happy you found this website to vent it is such a wonderful outlet. Sorry that families continue to shelter this type of disgusting attacks. At 16 I was angry at my dad because he dated a woman who had 3 kids that werent his and he constantly treated me as if I wasnt his flesh and bone. After all these years he has not apologized for his neglectful behavior but I have been able to forgive him so I can be at peace with myself. Easier said than done forgiveness takes time not saying you need to forgive anyone, being a teenager is so tough, hope you are doing well. Make the choices that will help you get through the day. One day at a time, dont be hard on yourself you are doing everything u can.
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