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Fellow readers of Novni: Initials to preserve the identity. This is not directed to any of you, nor allows a troll to impersonate or give them any consent to replicate this letter.
Thank you.
—————
Starting with you "L",
You had everything to be a great friend. Sadly, I learned more from you than the people you constantly talked about. The girl you disliked, others who hated you " without reason". It's always the first impression that counts, right? And you played your role very well. A Queen Bee of the Hive, I never felt good around you guys. And on the first day I joined, I sensed something was off. Didn't leave to dont disrespect a friend. And guess what? I should have left and told him: "Hey, this group is not for me."
I felt like I was doing a favor staying there for months! And all these vibes that weren't mine to carry! When I met a nasty side of you, come on, I saw it coming. I wasn't surprised that you and your friends would treat me the same way as you did to everyone because I was distancing. I learned that you dont know how to hate alone. You need a clique for this.
As for "D", the guy you said had the hots for me, but, doesn't confess? The nastiest I've ever met. How can you call this attraction? Something very messed up. And he's nothing without his friends. He doesn't respect them. They only stick together thanks to the dirty secrets they know about each other. You two would be a good match: An ego that screams. Likes to show off. He's rude and you got some venom to spit. "L", your caring nature lasts while somebody is telling you everything and watching your favorite targets. I stopped trusting you. You have the smarts to realize this, don't you?
"D", it's your turn.
Through a messaging app, I could sense you're no good. I would be ashamed to treat others poorly and make up an excuse about suffering from a certain disorder in an attempt to justify it. It doesn't lower the disrespect. Does it give you a green flag? No. It never means to. This is only you trying to get away. Never think of consequences. If this hurts someone. If they don't like it. I told you many times to mind your tone when talking to me. You ignored and kept going. Rotten to the core.
Later you start talking that it's not personal, just joking, no hate towards me. You could be a better liar, did you know that? Or you're behaving because "L" is filling your private messages with questions about me? You know she can't keep quiet and seeks gossip like crazy, yet you give her reasons to talk your ears out. And, who deals with it when you're angry? You don't know what limits and boundaries mean, you only cross the line. Can't you set some for yourself? I don't regret calling you out.
I needed therapy to deal with all the harm. A burden I carried by myself. I needed meditation to relieve any trigger. I avoided mutual friends that would bring back to me unpleasant memories. I started journaling to make this all go away. Looked for healthy coping mechanisms. To rise. Know that I survived. As for both of you? I pity you. And next time you think about doing it to others, remember me. Even if you're no longer talking to each other anymore. Remember. And it will come back. I'm not hexing. This is a universal law.
In the same way, I give back the vibe. The gossips. Passive-aggressive treatment. Herd mentality. False superiority. A forged innocence. Bad influence. Everything that wasn't mine.
I am taking back my power. My energies. Peace of mind. Thoughts in general without you to interfere. My identity. My trust. Easy-going personality. Trustworthy reputation. Patience. The good in me. My shine. All you tried to take away from me and corrupt.
A letter from,
somebody you've known as "M".
A nickname.
The real me,
S.
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