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I still don't understand why dad's gotta be so stupid. If it wasn't for mom he'd be completely out. So before or after I take doggo for a walk I see him pop like 3 at a time. Mind you he's got 3 weeks to go. Mom speaks up says don't do that you don't need to keep being like this he goes DON'T BOTHER ME. All I can do is hold my thoughts n shake my head.
He only cries or gets sensible when he runs out completely and goes without for a little while even though that brings bad withdrawal. 40 year's of that you'd think he'd have learned by now.
That explains him rage yelling for no reason when he used to come in from work when I was little. I was just happy to see him (briefly) I wanted his attention I guess. I remember multiple times he came in with a mean face. not only then it was AHHHHHHHHHHH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH AHHHHHHHH sometimes in other times. I didn't understand why. I cowered in fear cried sometimes. That's when ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT came into play. I just wanted him to be my dad and treat me good and do stuff with me. not yell all the time and be mean for any little thing. That's part why I'm so fkd up. I don't know anymore. I'll never be a horrible person he has been to me. He's not a real dad. Not after taking my savings and assaulting me. He's like a male Alexa. Jabbers , is there but not real or genuinely caring. Just fake here but not a real member of my family.
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