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Ever since my mom had her sixth child / my fifth sibling, I've been extremely stressed lately.
And every time she asks if I'm ok, I just say I am, even though it's a lie.
When we first found out that we were going to have another baby brother, all of my siblings were jumping around with joy. I felt awkward being the only one growing even more pale by the second.
I thought that my mom would stop at five children, but I was dead wrong.
I know it sounds weird that I didn't want another sibling, especially to those who are an only child, but I felt that four siblings was all I could handle, and I was probably right.
It was already hard being the oldest, and being a girl. As a girl, I can't do all the things my dad wants me to around the house, but my mom expects me to be strong, too, and to care for the little ones while she's gone, which I have done a few times now.
My younger brother, who's only less than two years younger than me, is everything I've always wanted to be. He's creative, crafty, and is popular. The worst part is, every time I find something that I'm actually good at, he seems to be even better at it and gets all the credit.
The other day, my family and I visited our grandparents at a restaurant in town. My great-grandmother asked my brother what books he liked to read, and I instantly tensed up. That was something I did, not him. But he still got all the credit.
I'm not blaming him for anything. I'm just upset that I'm not as looked up to as he is.
And then my youngest brother came along, and things got a lot worse. My mother expected me to do things so that the younger ones would follow my lead, but they seem to be doing the exact opposite and lounging around doing nothing. And then I have to take care of my younger brother because my mom has stuff to work on, considering she has five other kids.
I'm not blaming anything on any person in my family. I'm just stressed out, and need a break. But youth group has been unavailable for the summer, and having to leave my crush just made it a thousand times worse.
I'm going through a lot right now, and I need to get some me time, but I just can't seem to get it.
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