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I feel shit
2 months ago · · Stress, · Explicit
I hate you Allah if there actually exists one. I hate you for blessing everyone around me except me. I hate you how u created me an overwmpath, self sabotager and a failure. I hate u when u say in the Quran that you are most merciful yet there are more than 60 million displaced people in the world who are on the verge of being stateless. I hate it when u say it is you who provides for everything yet there are nearly or more than 825 million people go to sleep hungry. Fucking hungry !! I hate it how for the past 5 years I have been failing at evrydamn thing because of self sabotage. I hate it when I emphatise with everyone to an extent that makes me feel miserable of my own life and privilege. All i ever wanted to do was to help people but I have become so miserable that I can't even help myself. I hate you . I hate you so much that it makes me go crazy. Why do u hate me so much ? What wrong did I do to u ? Why couldn't u just let me have one thing that I wanted for the past 10 years ? Why is everyone happy except me ? I am tired of asking and begging to you for help ? Why was I not worthy as a believer? Why ? U say this life is mere delusion then why is everyone around me happy in this delusion except me ? I never wished bad upon anyone but now I want bad things to happen to them as well so that I won't be the only miserable one. I am tired of worshipping you and I want to atop now . I really want to let go u because u don't seem to care about me . I want just stop and be happy. I just fucking wanted to be happy and keep others happy. Was it too much to ask for ? There are literally bastards like George bush, al asad, netanyu, modi who fucked up countries and are , who killed and are killing innocent..so where exactly is your justice....I really am sorry but if u exist I hate you . So much .