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I’m a 14yo female who has been chatting online with a 15yo male (let’s call him Robert) for a few months. Robert is a year older than me. I met him in an online class with video, so I know he is who he says he is. Robert lives in Europe. We text each other very often and we FaceTime on weekends to play video games. I enjoy hanging out with him.
Robert has admitted that he has a crush on me. I don’t feel the same way, so I told him this and we went on with our conversation. It’s been a while since this conversation. I don’t know if he still feels this way. Today he told me that in a few weeks, he might be going on vacation. During this vacation, he would be staying for a few days in the town that I live in (it’s a very large city). He asked if I wanted to meet in person. Without really thinking, I said yes.
But now that I think about it, I don’t know if I want to. We’ve only been talking for a few months, as I’ve stated, and I still don’t know him that well. I don’t know if I’m comfortable meeting him in person until I know him better. Because he may still have that crush on me, I have this fear that he views an in-person meeting as a date. Robert is a great guy, don’t get me wrong. I like being around him. I’m just hesitant to meet him in person because of the feelings towards me that he may still have. Another interesting tidbit: in his country, he is past the age of consent (it’s a very low age). I am a year below that age. Is he asking to meet me in person because he’s horny?
In summary, I’m looking for advice. I’m still trying to figure out if I still want to meet him in person. I like him, but not in the way that he probably likes me. He hasn’t said or done anything sketchy, but I don’t trust him 100% yet. He’s probably harmless, but I have trust issues. Should I still aim to meet him in person? Why or why not? If the answer is yes, what steps should I take to ensure that a meeting is as safe and platonic as possible?
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not judging or being mean but just because he is age of consent and likes you doesnt mean he is horny, he might just want to meet in real life. you say months like that is not long but, it is actually a while
ReplyHe could be and honestly I’d tell him you’re busy or not interested. I wouldn’t meet anyone in person if I’m an INCH uncomfortable. What’s most important is being safe. But if you do choose to see him (which I don’t suggest), meet in a very public place and let people know where you are and when. Don’t go to any secondary locations that might seem romantic
ReplyYou can let him know that it's not going to be date and you are just meeting him as a friend
Or best thing I suggest is to bring someone with you. another friend maybe. A reliable person to keep you safe and to make it casual
Replyi know this sounds weird... but does his name start with a w?? i know thats random but the letter w has been on my mind today... anywho I think you should give it time because you only known this robert guy for only a few months.. you should ask yourself, do YOU want to meet him?? are YOU sure that you want to meet him??
ReplyThere is no ‘w’ in his name. ;)
ReplyI'd say you should meet him. I know it will probably be uncomfortable, but trust me, after you meet him you'll never regret it. Meeting people in person after contacting them a while on the internet is a great experience. I know because I've done it myself. He's a human being, so he'll understand if you still feel uncomfortable about that subject. If you also know that he is who he says he is, I'd say that's another reason to meet with him.
ReplyBe upfront with him and ask him plain what he intends for your first meeting to be. Tell him you only want to meet him if it is on a friend's terms and invite another friend of yours to go with you if u can. Tell a trusted person about the meeting before you go and update them every 20 - 30 minutes so if you stop responding they know why or where you are. DO NOT GO ALONE!!! As you said you are young and don't know how old he is or how many people he may have with him. If anything seems strange or you have a gut feeling something isn't right DON'T GO....
Replyuhm...I do not know dear, isn´t it suspicious he is on vacation in YOUR town? Be very careful about meeting people online. If you decided to go, do NOT go alone and it must be in a public place. I suggest you can watch him from distance at first, you must be sure you really want to meet him. if not, you can say you did not see him so you went home...
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