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Why you left in that way? Why you left me? You were so selfish, yeah you said that you had your unresolved issues and you had your dark thoughts but I didn’t think that you was gonna act on them.
I don’t know what let you to this? Was it that you were scared to choose between your family or our love? You always talk about your kids but they are not kids they 26 and 20 . And then us, you told me I make you happy that you found the spark back in your life but you didn’t have the balls to fight for us? For our love? You were ready to leave everything but then your so call friend filled you with doubts that you never shared with me but I knew. I never betrayed you I was your ride and die chick, when you called I was there ready to be with you? I divorced to show you I was ready to start a life with you but you would tell me about your assists with her and how it wasn’t so easy with her, but you were ready to give her everything and walk with your shoes only so what happened? Why did you had to kill yourself? Why sent me a good bye text telling me you love me now and for eternity and for the next lives and then apologize and then end your life huh? The irony of this is that you did it in that place where we made love several times, where you told me you love me? Where we chilled watching movies while you play with my hair and I would be kissing your face? I don’t understand your decision. I’m crying in pain, lost in motion I don’t know what to do without your calls text pictures etc. it’s crazy that I will not hear your voice anymore that I will never see you again with that look of your that tinkle in your eyes whenever you were picking me up at the airport, your touch kisses etc. I’m dying inside because I couldn’t say before or now what you meant to me how I felt about you. We were always hiding and careful that no one will see us. Why did you make me fall in love with you? Gosh I still remembered when you told me that I would be crazy over you and you are right I am crazy in love with you and crazy in pain bc you are not here anymore.
I changed everything in my new apartment so u will feel fine here in your future home. Wasn’t gonna be what you were used to but made it very homey and comfortable so it would be a loving space for us. Bought that chair where u said we will have sex and guess what we didn’t . I miss you so much. But I’m also soooo upset and want to punch you hit u and scream at you for making that irrational decision. . On your last text I replied that I will
Sacrifice our love so you don’t have to make a decision so you could still be here with us but I do t know what is too late when you text me or you were afraid that we couldn’t keep away from each other and that would kill you? I do t know but I would had sacrifice myself so you would still be here even though it would not be with me but I would know that I could take a plane and see you in a distance . Now everything my hopes and dreams with you are gone,,, gone. I am alone.. my financial situation is crazy made such a beautiful home for us but you are not here. I worked but it’s been difficult dealing with your lost and Concentration at the job. Always crying and hoping that you would walk in they the door and I will see you again and I will run to your arms and you will tell me I’m sorry baby but I’m here now. But I know that’s not going to happen ever not in this life, what to do how to let you go? I do t know seeing your name all over does not help. You left them set up, they have everything to live comfortably but you never thought of me in that moment? You never thought wow she does t ask for anything and I have t done anything for her so let me give her something to help her out since I never did? Is like. A strange feeling like you really never cared since I was t there only when we used to be together. I don’t know what to think but for now, I love you for ever and ever and they eternity in this life and the next ones. That’s all I could say to you now
I love you with all my heart maybe I’m a fool in love or I was taken for granted and you took advantage I don’t know because you are not here to tell me
PS: sorry for the errors I wasn’t checking just writing
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