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Unworthy of love
2 months ago · · Loneliness, · Explicit
I feel hopeless, alone, like everyone in my life has their life reassured and has found their place. Everyone is doing stuff, working socializing while I’m here.. alone. I feel empty, numb like there isn’t a person who truly, purely loves me. I know my family members love me but I think family members have to love you, you know? Like it wasn't by choice that they picked me. I think everyone’s life is better off without me. My “friends” in school haven’t ONCE texted me because they are not close with me I know but sometimes I feel like I’m so fucking irrelevant in this world I could die and they don’t give a shit about me. I have 4 other friends that I know love me but summer has proven that they are better off without me and they are having the time of their lives this summer while I’m here alone, what a shocker. Will I ever be worthy of that kinda love when someone can’t stop thinking of me or they miss me? You probably think I am being dramatic but I’m here alone crying at 1 am as I just realized all my supposedly friends don’t give a shit about me. How could I be so incredibly fool thinking they actually did. I know I don't matter to people but I just feel like this feeling will never go away like this quiet girl will always be insignificant and just a bump in the road in other people's lives. Will the time arrive when someone actually does? I FEEL SO HOPELESS and I can’t even think of going to therapy since my mom is so conservative I won’t dare ask her to take me.