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1 month ago · · Need Advice, · Explicit
I am at crossroads. At this time I had to prepare for a dissertation defense but because of my advisor, I was not allowed by the dean to do so despite the fact he gave me a positive review. We have not solved this problem yet. It causes me mental troubles because it lasts over 2 years.
Mom and my family forcing me to "move on" and find a job. I know I have to decide what next but I feel immense pressure from them and it makes me anxious. I would like to go abroad to the UK for some time (maybe stay there if I will like it) but my grandmother started with "what will I do without you? who will take care of me?" is this toxic behavior? I think so. Since I was little she was growing me in these toxic ideals and I have a problem to rid of them without feeling guilty. (for example, have sex before marriage) I have a problem determinate what is what I really want and what I think I want...
My mother and brother do not make it easier, they do not take my mental issues seriously. My brother says I am still weeping and my mother is still shouting at me since I came back from a short holiday in the spa 4 days ago. I feel like it is time to find my own living... but I want to go abroad, but I do not know anyone who lives there...