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9 months ago · 3 · leaving, +10
Here I am, in another failed relationship drowning in "what if's".
I need to go.
I think a part of the inability to let go, is that I am afraid. Afraid of being alone. Afraid to have already given myself over to him all for things not to work in the end.
He says that I never agree with what he says, I'm combative and inconsistent. He never says that he battles with those same ills, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is what I don't seem to be doing. No matter the effort, imperfections don't seem acceptable. Sadly, I know that this will never work because I am a flawed person who makes mistakes. How can I be in a relationship when I am expected not to be flawed?
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Have you ever asked him what makes him so great? I mean he has all these opinions about you, what makes him any better.
This kind of relationship is a lot of work. He's the one pointing the finger. I would want to know why. Like REALLY why, no excuses.Reply
"Afraid to have already given myself over to him all for things not to work in the end." - this is called Sunk Cost Fallacy - we think we should stick with something, because of the huge amount of time and effort we already put in, even if it's no longer useful to keep doing it, or is actively harmful.
In what sense have you "given yourself over to him"? He doesn't own you - you are not chattel. Take yourself back.
It didn't "fail", but it ended for very good reasons.
"No matter the effort, imperfections don't seem acceptable" - then this guy has impossibly high standards and seems to be using them to make you feel bad about yourself. I don't think you're a "flawed person who makes mistakes" to any greater degree than the next human being, I think he's a jerk.
"How can I be in a relationship when I am expected not to be flawed?" - Exactly! You can't! So when someone's trying to force you to be perfect, you can spit in their eye and walk away.
I hope you'll find a better relationship.Reply
I needed to read this! I appreciate you so much for taking time out to comment on my post! <3Reply