novni
  • Write Anonymously
  • Offer Support
  • Get Inspired
  • Show Navigation
  • Talk to a counselor online, anytime. Start feeling better today.
    Talk to a Counselor
  • Guest User
  • Write Anonymously
  • Offer Support
  • Get Inspired
  • Professional Support
  • Online Counseling
  • Helplines
  • General
  • Sign Up
  • Log In

What are you looking for?

Featured Topics

Select a topic to start reading.

  • Advice
  • Anxiety
  • Breakup
  • Depression
  • Loneliness
  • Love
  • Need Advice
  • Poetry
  • Relationships
  • Stress
  • Suicide
  • Thoughts
Flag this Post

Another one......

9 months ago · 3 · leaving, +10


252

Here I am, in another failed relationship drowning in "what if's".

I need to go.

I think a part of the inability to let go, is that I am afraid. Afraid of being alone. Afraid to have already given myself over to him all for things not to work in the end.

He says that I never agree with what he says, I'm combative and inconsistent. He never says that he battles with those same ills, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is what I don't seem to be doing. No matter the effort, imperfections don't seem acceptable. Sadly, I know that this will never work because I am a flawed person who makes mistakes. How can I be in a relationship when I am expected not to be flawed?

Please read our commenting guidelines before responding. Read now.

You are commenting as a guest. To choose your username either log in or sign up.

If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.

  • Novni Guest · 9 months ago

    Have you ever asked him what makes him so great? I mean he has all these opinions about you, what makes him any better.

    This kind of relationship is a lot of work. He's the one pointing the finger. I would want to know why. Like REALLY why, no excuses.

    Reply
  • AllHailTheGlowCloud · 9 months ago

    "Afraid to have already given myself over to him all for things not to work in the end." - this is called Sunk Cost Fallacy - we think we should stick with something, because of the huge amount of time and effort we already put in, even if it's no longer useful to keep doing it, or is actively harmful.

    In what sense have you "given yourself over to him"? He doesn't own you - you are not chattel. Take yourself back.

    It didn't "fail", but it ended for very good reasons.

    "No matter the effort, imperfections don't seem acceptable" - then this guy has impossibly high standards and seems to be using them to make you feel bad about yourself. I don't think you're a "flawed person who makes mistakes" to any greater degree than the next human being, I think he's a jerk.

    "How can I be in a relationship when I am expected not to be flawed?" - Exactly! You can't! So when someone's trying to force you to be perfect, you can spit in their eye and walk away.

    I hope you'll find a better relationship.

    Reply
    • Butterflybabez · 9 months ago

      I needed to read this! I appreciate you so much for taking time out to comment on my post! <3

      Reply

More Posts

  • My brother

    There is something really common that I think most people contemplate every now and then and it's actually called something by psychologists. It's called “A...

    10 months ago · 6
  • Leaving

    My brother is leaving the country today with his wife and baby. He has no idea how this is making my parents feel. I think in some way it is somewhat selfish th...

    10 months ago · 4
Into music? Listen to this wellbeing playlist on Spotify today. AD This is a sponsored link
  • Write Anonymously
  • Offer Support
  • Get Inspired
  • Helplines
  • FAQ
  • Our Policies
  • Our Story
  • Contact Novni
  • Log In
  • Sign Up