What are you looking for?
A bizarre love triangle
5 days ago · · Depression, · Explicit
She is distant, he tries to be affectionate or hint at intimacy and he gets nothing in return. He thinks it's him, maybe he needs to do more to get her to notice his desire for attention and affection. He will thoroughly clean the room while she is doing the dishes, he tries to set the mood for romance. Not necessarily intimacy, but even just sit and be affectionate. When they finish their cleaning he makes sure his phone is silent, face down, and out of mind. She enters, lays on her side of the bed and pulls her phone out, opens an app, and continues to scroll through videos of strangers. He tries to be affectionate and she usually will acknowledge his existence; however, her eyes and mind belong to her phone. The emptiness fills his chest and it feels heavy. He tries to initiate intimacy and again she acknowledges his existence with a “My baby” as she continues to scroll through apps. He was excited for a couple of days; she had a desire to be affectionate and intimate; it was a short lived fire. He can’t help but feel he is losing her. He mentions he feels guilty because he has a higher sex drive than she. She agrees to use an app that allows them to be honest about fantasies and learn about intimacy. He constantly utilized this tool hoping to spark that flame and keep it going. He would indicate he was in a mood, answer a daily question, or send a dare and never got a response. He mentioned it to her and she stated she never got the notifications. He proceeded to perform an experiment, and when he could see she was scrolling through apps he answered a question so it would notify her. He looks up and sees the notification come through and she would swipe up so the notification banner would go away, then proceed to scroll. He begins to feel even more empty and lonely. He tends to take care of his lust himself so as to not bother her and become a nuisance. This does nothing to cure the emptiness. He loves her and can’t picture himself with anyone else. Losing her is one of his biggest fears, and he can’t quiet his mind. Is he not pleasing her? Is that why she doesn’t reciprocate his attempts at initiating? Was his hygiene not what she wanted? He showered everyday, kept his facial hair trimmed, wore deodorant, beard oil… Was it because she found someone who has her attention? He can not pinpoint the issue and is beginning to accept he can’t win her attention from her phone. He jumps at the opportunity for attention and can’t get enough. Her phone owns her eyes, mind, and heart. How is he supposed to compete with something that technically never gets tired. It's a three way relationship, Him, Her, and Her phone. A bizarre love triangle.