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I had an online job interview yesterday. And my life partner saw it. I haven't got the results yet. But my partner told me that if he was an interviewer he wouldn't hire me. He told me that I just didn't want to get this job, that is why I wasn't presentable. He told that my interview was like a sad story and it's all my fault. And he was really angry with me, like I had done something terrible. I have already got one part-time job, so I was searching for a full-time job. As for me, I did my best. But there are so many thoughts in my had. Instead of taking into account his words, I'm just thinking that I never want him to see my interviews again.
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Welp, your partner is like many of us, finds it easy to criticize, so try not to fault him too much since a lot of us have this negative flaw. Perhaps try telling your him you truly appreciate his input, but would welcome more tips on how to improve versus what you did wrong. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
ReplyThe person that wrote "your partner is like many of us, finds it easy to criticize, so try not to fault him too much since a lot of us have this negative flaw" are you serious?! This guy isn't showing a negative flaw, he is being unnecessarily nasty, trying undermine his girlfriend and diminish her confidence.
To the OP, the other people who responded are right and your boyfriend acting this way is unacceptable.
People will treat you how you let them, walk away girl and do better for yourself.
ReplyI think your partner never seeing your interviews again would be a good idea. You deserve, and should aim to create, complete privacy while you're interviewing.
Your partner's criticism was not constructive feedback - it was just putting you down.
If you had asked him how he thought it went, and he had said that he didn't think you had come across as confident and enthusiastic as you could have been, but he gently encouraged you, and offered to help you practice your interview skills (assuming he had enough expertise to be a good coach)... That would be a perfectly fine response.
Instead, he criticised, and got angry with you for stuff like being "presentable", not "wanting" this job enough. What does that even mean? I assume you wore clothes, and expressed reasons why you would be suitable for the job - what does he want? He's not the one making the hiring decision.
A job interview is just as much about getting to know the interviewers and whether you think you'd be happy to work for them, as it is about them assessing your suitability for the role.
The time to tell you if you looked "presentable" enough was before you started the interview. His criticism after the fact seems more aimed at making you feel self-conscious about your appearance, and undermining you as an adult capable of making your own decisions about your public-facing image.
You have a much better idea than he does about your skills, qualifications, and what recruiters are likely to be looking for in a candidate for the types of jobs you are applying for. Your partner should butt out.
ReplyWhat the hell ? He is so toxic . I hate people like him . No you did nothing wrong . He is just being mean . He is trying to make you think you are worthless and You are not .
I hope you will get the job and If not , don't worry , You will get another chance
ReplyThat’s definitely not constructive
ReplyAs a partner you shouldn’t talk down on your partner but instead up lift them if he left like you could have said something different there is a proper way of saying it then directly being hurtful . Please keep your head up speak highly of yourself don’t let him get to you,
Reply