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Soooo yesterday was my bday right, my boyfriend isnāt too romantic sometimes. Heās usually helped by his friends when he has something planned. For our anniversary though he did have things planned for us and that was all him. My boyfriend pays for almost everything and I try to pay here and there because idk I feel like itās not all their job to be paying for everything. Imagine I had to pay for everything? I wouldnāt be able to afford it. So why make him pay for everything just cause heās a man if it can be expensive.anyway, my birthday was yesterday and Iāve always joked around about stealing a street cone. Like every time I see a cone I tell him letās steal it ā I really want oneā and heās like Nono one day. So he got me a cone for my birthday and thats it. The rest of the day we spent it with my family and cut my cake and everything. But I was a little upset that he didnāt go out of his way to make a special day for me. He wants today Sunday to be us two but heās like tell me where you want to go and Iāll drive anywhere Iāll pay for everything āitās your dayā. But I just felt like he couldāve made it more special, like yea I wanted a cone this whole time but I donāt think that should complete the gift. I think he couldāve tried more on the gift. But I also donāt want to seem materialistic. In his family, birthdays havenāt been that special, they didnāt even buy him a cake or gifts or anything. He always tells me I donāt ever do something for my bday, itās just a normal day. So for his bday I bought him a cake and I had him cut it with his friends and I still got him a gift, & took him to eat the next day. So can you guys help me bring this up to my boyfriend, I donāt want to seem materialistic but bdays are special for me and my family, I know they werenāt for him but I was just disappointed this time with his little effort.
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I can totally relate to you ... but I think it's more because how birthdays are treated in his family that is why he has no idea of how to celebrate it .. maybe you should treat him on his birthday the way you want to be treated... I honestly think that if you like just said to him that what he did for you wasn't enough then it would come out as rude plus it is most probably going to hurt his feelings because maybe in his opinion it was alot from his side ... other than that you can bring this topic in the random conversations you guys have , like maybe after some time you can just randomly talk what would ur bestest birthday be like and the things you love that might help ... plus I think the cone he brought you makes it clear that he listens to what you say .. so maybe next time he will get a better idea of what you want ... plus you don't need birthdays to be the only day when he will make you feel special so don't worry too much about it ... and btw happy birthday š š
ReplyI did make his bday a special day ! I bought him a cake to cut with his friends and his gift, & I took him to eat the next day. But yea I donāt want to come off as rude or ungrateful, but I do want him putting more effort in his gifts. I just donāt want to come off as rude or ungrateful. Cause I do feel loved but I want him to put the same effort I put in his gifts.
ReplyMaybe after some time you can come up with a game sort of thing where you both tell each other what you wish the other person was doing for you or something like what would you like to change about them , that way you will be able to tell your birthday concerns plus he will he able to tell his .. just make sure he is comfortable enough and you don't take his concern in a bad way
Replytell him nicely, by communicating that you kind of wanted him to plan your special day....although it would have been nice if you did it yourself, its more fun when your partner surprises you.
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