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I lost my first and only chance in love, I cant have pure or real one anymore. Please dont say I can cuz its a long story u will never understand.
I loved before knowing love, I thought it was real. Now after knowing it I wish I knew before so I search for it. Like I cant say you were the first or I cant give him all what I have bcuz I already did, I will be fake. It cant be real anymore. I lost it for someone that doesnt deserve my only chance. Now how can I know, I really want to try the feeling. To be happy and comfort and (honest) yeah thats the word I mean. I was totaly honest to my first but by time I discovered that he was all fake and liar and I cant even know if he ever loved me. Like I was a kid. But I gave it all what I could. He never loved me by actions it was my fault cuz it was clear but I didnt want to leave him cuz that what a real lover do. I sticked by him 4 years although he hated me. Now I growed up but lost my pure love.
Also I hate humans around me they all the same and complicated.
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I have wasted much more. I also believed in love for life. I think you should not force yourself. We don't know what will happen in the future. The most important that you loved somebody.
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