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sometimes i have a huge urge to cry, but i just couldn’t. my tears wont come out although im breaking down inside. Some people said its because im weak. Im not weak. I just have been through so much. I tell myself all the time that i cant take it anymore, but i have no choice. I hate myself for being like this. my mom, my friends, everybody arounds me loves me. But i cant seem to love myself. I look into those mirrors at least five times a day telling myself why am i like this. Why are u so despicable. why do u have to be so weak. Well.. I guess i am after all, weak and pathetic. If i have one wish it would be for nighttime to be longer. everybody kept asking me why i hate lights so much, i never answer them but i know, i know deep down inside i just dont want them to see my face. im ashamed. im breaking down but i lied im okay. A lady once told me that a pain has to be faced from the front, not the back. But how could i do that if all i see in front of me is my face covered with tears, tears that finally came out after being suppressed for a long time.
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Please go to a doctor and get help. Also have as much rest as you can. Love is an outward emotion so you shouldn't ever love yourself. You should only love God and others. Take care of yourself and God is waiting to be invited into your life if He hasn't been already.
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