What are you looking for?
To my wife
1 month ago · · Stress, · Explicit
I am not sure where to start. We have been together for 5 years and the last 3 have been a struggle. We are not the same people that we used to be, and it is terrifying. I know work has been difficult and now we spend less time together. I feel like I am having a harder time with the separation than you are and it scares me.
You recently have been putting more effort into your appearance and while you look great, it doesn't feel like it is for you or me. You recently just told me you have a doctors appointment to get back on birth control. Which is concerning since its impossible for me to get you pregnant. I hope that everything is okay.
I miss you. I miss us. I miss how close and intimate we used to be. We haven't been together in almost three years, and it terrifies me that there is someone else. I know I am not a very sexual person and you claim that you aren't either, but I hope I am not keeping you from experiencing life. I have wanted nothing but for you to be happy and if that means going our separate ways than so be it. I just need to know if that is what you want or where we are headed.
I randomly cry a lot more and you automatically think you did something wrong. I don't know how to talk to you anymore because we rarely do to begin with now. But I feel like I am the person in the wrong all the time. I have been trying to find things and places for us to go and spend time together. You shoot a lot of them down and just want to stay at home. When we are at home though, it's like I am not there. You spend the whole time on your phone and get defensive when I ask why.
I think I bother you when you're at work. Since you started working nights, I stay up late to be able to text you because it's the only time we are both awake. You always tell me to go to sleep. And to me, that makes me think you don't want to talk to me.
We also don't sleep in the same bed anymore either because of work schedules. I respect that you need to sleep during the day, but why on the days/nights we have off together? I am afraid I am going to come home and my side of the bed be messed up or smell different.
I just need to know. I wish you would talk to me and I wish I had the guts to tell you how I feel.
I hope you're still my person. I hope you still want to be my person.
Always, your wife.